McAf@rTs

John McAfee was once the 

face of cybersecurity software. 

Then his life spiraled. 

Now, after being found dead in a 

Spanish prison cell and a ‘Q’ 

Instagram post, the father of 

the Modern American Paranoia 

finds perfect synchronicity in his 

Life, Times, Legacy and Death.

    anagrams to 

   Heigh-ho! I am a potent Fart menacer!

   Headed to Idaho,

            Fiercely Farting my anal loyalties.

   Ahem! ...Eject Farts NOW, fish-face!

   Penis. Cunt. Boner! Wangs! Penis. Ass.

   Squalid Doom. Ninnyish, non-sphincter Farts.

   Ace Slob Farted Chirpy, Weird-Pinhead Fart Indecencies. 

                  Farts! ...Coffee?

F@Rt Science!!!

Physicists show that flying beer 

coasters will flip over four-tenths 

of a second into flight, with backspin, 

unlike a Frisbee, and fly vertically.

    anagrams to 

   Hello, Clown Fuckers!

   Stenchy Farts, Bishop. Hell!

                 Hedonistic Fucker!

    Howling, obstipant* Fart. 

  Lovely Vagina Farts! 

              Inedibility, if wise type.

   Farts!

 [*Obstipation is a severe form of constipation, where a person cannot poop or fart. Constipation is a condition where a person has infrequent bowel movements — usually three or fewer a week.]

Horseback F@rTs

One cow still at large,* one killed 

after forty head of cattle escape 

from a slaughterhouse and stampede 

through LA neighborhoods; Sheriff’s 

Deputies on horseback ride to the rescue 

    anagrams to 

   Dog-eared Bunghole,

        Utopian Hellhole. Farts!

   Indecorous, hot-headed Farts menace?

   Well... Asses! 

   Obedient Gooey Farts. 

   Heroic Rectal Farts. 

   Proud Poem-like Farts.

   Huckster Farts. 

[*UPDATE: The last on-the-lam Bovine has been rescued, and - as only in California - will be adopted by Grammy and Emmy Award winner and 12-time Oscar nominee Hall of Fame songwriter Diane Warren. “This isn’t my first cow... But this feels like a special cow. “Right now, I’m calling it good moos.” She reportedly named it. Her net worth is eleventy billion dollars.]

Fake High School F@rTs

A Former NRA President Was Tricked Into 

Speaking At A Fake High School Graduation

and starring in a gun-violence prevention video;

addressing his comments to thousands of empty 

chairs, set up to represent thousands of students 

killed by gun violence. Yes. There’s videotape of it. 

    anagrams to 

   Weird Assholes 

              and croakier Farts torment. 

   Ho Ho! Fart-Up genitalia, OK? 

   Deserving, rapid, 

                      inane Farts innovator.

   O My God! 

   Incompetent, odd 

                         Sphincter mushiness.

   Stupendous Penis and 

              stoutest Cunt Fart heroes -

   Evil bungling on cockeyed evil.

   Good! Heaviest Yankee Farts,       headiest pig.

    https://tinyurl.com/26dsfvww

F@rT Gun

Chiefs Star Defensive End Frank Clark 

Arrested In South LA Traffic Stop 

After Gun Found In Car

    anagrams to 

   Fine cheek and clever Farts.

   Hoodlike Farts, proud Farts, 

   Cunning Farts in Fart audiences.

F@rT Bandit

San Francisco DA charges suspected 

Walgreens Bandit in connection with a 

slew of shoplifting thefts. 

He hit one store five times.

      anagrams to 

   Incontinent eggheads spew Farts.

   Classic bee Shit wind WC.

   Oh No! Farting felon Anus splotch!

   I am the defective, noisiest Farts hero. 

Spider-Man F@rTs on the Pope

Spider-Man swings through the Vatican to meet Pope Francis, gifts Pontifex maximus - The Vicar of Christ with custom-made Spidey mask

   anagrams to 

   I Am A Fucker. Victimise, gnash.            Victimise, gnash.

   Mix smooth pig excrement. Farts Farts Farts.

   Oh Wow! Muddy up this topnotch adept Penis.