Tour de F@rTs

Fan who allegedly caused 

Tour de France crash arrested; 

After a four-day search,

Finistère gendarmerie 

and France's Bleu Finistere 

radio station reported that

she turned herself in and could 

face prison time and a hefty fine.

The fan has not been identified. 

Crash-filled Tour saw four riders quit.

     anagrams to 

   'I am a green-eyed, unheroic Farts raider.' 

   ‘I concealed genuine bleeder Farts.’

   'I am the unrepented of hypocrite.'

   Farts odiously alienated cow hand.

   The dreadful flincher Farts as ensnared. Nice Farts, roundhead.

   Niftiest Farts and the fine bonehead.

   'Squashier weird Farts colourful dirt Farts.’

SecDef F@rTs

 Family Confirms: Former Defense Secretary 

Donald Rumsfeld has died. Both the youngest 

and oldest SecDef, Rumsfeld served under 

two Presidents- Ford and Bush. Helped rescue 

injured Pentagon staff after the al-Qaeda attack, 

oversaw Iraq, Afghanistan wars. Memoir titled by 

Johari Window quote: “But there are also unknown 

unknowns - the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” 

Also see “You go to hell with the alibis you have.”

     anagrams to 

   'Memory of slimier indecency.' 

          Penis.

   'Fuddle fuddle severe soddenness. Muddle-headed anus plodder.’

           Farts.      Wangs.

   'Now truth is weakened.’

            Farts.      Smegma Breath. 

   'Send pawns to die. Loyal, house-to-house hate, hell.'

            Farts.      Shit-bird.

   'Enquire adorably, win weak vagina.'

            Farts.      Cunt Fart. 

   'Oh Wow! the queer jailbait.'

            Farts.       Mother Fucker.

   'Oh Wow! Now keen on now tense nut.'

            Farts.      Dirt Bitch.

   'Hey You! Evolve. Outlast. Lose. Yahoo!’

           Farts.      Asshole.

   'Enjoy hooked hog and eloquent Don.'

   

FOX, Not Facts. F@Rt.

FOX Cries “Wolf!”: Tucker Carlson Freaks Out After NSA Statement Flatly Denies The Fox Host and His Show Are Worth Sabotaging; Carlson is called out for fake news over claims spies are tracking him to take show off air; QAnon stirs John McAfee into the mix, Trump falls for it all hook, line and sinker.

    anagrams to 

   Bat-Shit Wacky Fucker.

   'Well Hello, Somnolent Farts toxicant - 

                      militant, sex-maniac kinkiness.'

   Fucked. Eq, Farts in the Head...

   'Oh! Woesome, gorgonian, well-known orator... Jeers on ovations excel.' 

   Pissed as a Fart.

   Chastise foolish goof. Farts! 

   Half-mad plonker Farts.

   Ludicrous Fart Informer.

   Shit-house Rat Fart.

     

F@Rt ala Farallon

Farallon the Great Pacific Octopus 

is the Cézanne of Cephalopods - 

she shows off her painting talent 

at a Florida aquarium and online.

   anagrams to 

   Ouch! Apoplectic Fellation!

                 Spewing Farts!

                       FARTS!!!

  'Oh No! Decadent zealot cheapens Farts.’

                       FARTS!!!

   Hoorah! I am an unqualified hooligan Penis.   

Frog F@rTs

French police say the spectator 

who caused massive crash at the 

Tour de France is missing after 

fleeing the country; Cyclists stage 

a protest for safer conditions after 

fan caused the unfortunate pile-up.

     anagrams to 

   Psychotic death wish Fart potency,

   Heroine's steamier Farting Ass.

   Gently poetic, gooier Fart feculence.

   Evil one Farts Pseudo-science,

   Hot Farts, Rectum head!

   Cunt Farts Up-eunuchised to Ass Farts, Anal.

Weed F@rTs

 Officers shoot, kill man near 

pot farms threatened by Lava 

Fire after flames cross a highway 

near Weed, in Northern California

     anagrams to 

   Fiendishly, fool Farts.

   Venerable tapeworm

                    Farts like a maniac.

   Hah! Fart clownery, insane enigma.

   Heroic Fart drone’s hero Farts

              tinyurl.com/3tffwtyk

Royal F@rTs

In a Kingdom you’ve never 

heard of, Officials deny King 

of Eswatini -- Africa's lone 

absolute monarch -- has fled 

amid violent pro-democracy, 

anti-monarchy protests, riots.

Royal kids mock subjects online.

     anagrams to 

   So, demonic stink-ball Fuckers...

   Weird loo. Odious deviance or oily joy.

   I'm an ass-head. 

          Rampantly Farting Beaverlike Farts.

   Moody Fucking Farts! Shit Farts canoodle.

          Thermionic conveniences. Oomph!

Ivanka F@rTs

Former FBI official says he 

believes Ivanka Trump may 

have perjured herself in her 

testimony to DC prosecutors 

regarding Inaugural events, 

costs related to Trump Tower, 

based on emails found by 

Mother Jones magazine.

     anagrams to 

   My! I'm an evasive Cunt Fart!

   Fuckers.

   Her Noisome Farting, 

   her Dopey juvenile imbeciles dishonor.

   Obtusely drearier demonology.

   Vaguer, impugnable temptress,

   Enema Blow-out Farts detract, dazes.

   Farts Joy! Phonier Farts bash.    

  

F@rT Minister

 Ministry of Defence 'sorry' 

after secret files left in the 

rain at bus stop in Kent

     anagrams to 

   'I'm the niftiest Farts, Fuckers!’

     Yeti Farts On bleeders

     Yeti Farts On penile ponce

Chicken McF@rTs

McDonald’s order bereft of dipping 

sauces? Follow this clown to a felony 

conviction, and offer to firebomb the 

franchise. Editors Note: It Is NOT clear 

from the arrest report which flavor or flavors 

were missing from the suspect’s McNuggets.

    anagrams to 

   Forced, bold, open-minded pig Farts.

   Well, hero concocts clown Farts violence deviously.

   Sniffier Farts, Hop Hornbeam! I am a Rectum!

   Heroine's confidential Fart eroticists.

   Hot Farts overflow. Bottom horror.

   Chef spews Farts. Muggiest strongness.

Trump F@rTs

If prosecutors charge Trump's 

company or one of its executives 

this week, the former president 

can still be targeted in the future 

   anagrams to 

   'Rough-cut Farts, prime corpse.'

   'Voice noxious Farts, enemy poet!' 

   I'm white-hot. Fuckers represented.

   Belligerent Cunt Farts hesitated 

Spicy F@rTs

Couple Opened Fire On Burger 

King Workers "Over A Spicy 

Chicken Sandwich" That Was 

Just A Tad Too Spicy, But The 

Shooting Was Just Perfectly 

Seasoned For Felony Firearms 

Charges And Four Counts Of 

Attempted Murder.

     anagrams to 

   Pure Farts, Evil one...?

   [*Farts*] - Oh Jesus! Oh My God!

   Risky Bung Screwing, Cow hand.

   Wisecrack Farts on thickhead.

   Farts Battle just up, 

            No Poo-poo-faced Farts.

   Is wild-eyed, hypertense emotion. 

   Huge anus, Merde up! Farts concocter.

        [ tinyurl.com/SpicyFelony ]

Bot F@rTs

Fired by Bot: ‘It’s you against 

the machine’; An Amazon Flex 

driver said she nearly lost her 

house and did have her car 

repossessed after an algorithm 

suddenly fired her for no reason.

     anagrams to 

   'Shh! I'm a gay booby - 

             Vagina Farts nudities..' 

   Lazy, venereal, hardier 

            Asshole hedonism.

   A Douched Hinder, Hers!

   Excremental Farts, droopier fetidness.

   Hero Fart and loony Fart rudeness.

Baked F@rTs

Peculiar parasitic fungi discovered 

growing out of the rectum of a fifty-

million-year-old fossilized ant

Oldest example of an ant infected 

by a fungal Ass parasite ever found.

   anagrams to 

   Farting Vagina Farts

   'Woeful, fumigatory, poetic truce.'

Demonize no suicidally polarised idiocies.

'Sex-mad, love-lorn Farts,

 affected penitent Assholes.'

   Fart Up, ugly bona fide fan! 

     Yes. I got VERY Baked, but it’s only       80* in Pico Union near DTLA.

F@rTs Fighters

Biden orders airstrikes against 

facilities used by Iran-backed 

militia groups; U.S. Navy and 

U.S. Air Force F-15, -16 Fighters 

Strike targets belonging to 

Iran-backed Militia groups along 

the Border Between Syria and Iraq.

   anagrams to 

   'Agitator disdains in berserkers F-F-Fart.' 

   ‘Abuse incisive, yucky, drab ideal.’

   'Diarrhoetic, spurious, gleaming.' 

   'Stinking Farts, Globetrotter sage.' 

   'I am a spunkier, tragical Farts blooding.'

   'Brainwash on red-eyed, brattier eq.'

Pearl Slaghoople F@rTs

Hillsborough, California Gives Up 

on Trying to Stop Fun-loving 

Florence Fang from Fixing Up Her 

Fantastical So-Called Flintstone 

House with More Sculptures of 

Dinosaurs, Cartoon Characters

   anagrams to 

   Fart on, Pig! Fart on, Pig!

   Evil Farts - tonguing on vicious loony.

   Farts on me,

   Told Punch “Still Farts in excellence.”

   'Whoopee! Farts! Humbug! Farts!

       So luscious, Farting hero.'

   Anarchic Fart, slouchiness, drool.

  tinyurl.com/FangFarts

Furious F@RtIng

A founder’s family is furious at 

Philly’s archdiocese for closing 

High school: “They milked Mary 

for every cent. What the archdiocese 

is doing is downright dirty.”

    anagrams to 

   O My God! Farting Farts!

   Piously un-domicile kids...?

            You hellish Shits!

   Heavenly Cows dishonor 

                heroic screeches.

   O My God! Farting Farts!

    The wild-eyed, rich Farts.     

F@Rt Defender

Investigation launched after 'sensitive' UK 

defense documents reportedly 'found at a 

bus stop.’ Scandal rocks British forces command 

as news media overflows with details of the U.K. 

military presence in Afghanistan and a full-blown 

fiasco with Russia over H.M.S. Defender’s visit 

to coastal Crimea as “pure gunboat diplomacy”.

   anagrams to 

    Spotted Dickheads Fart! 

    Fancy a bloody proper cheeky Bollocks?!? 

    Hideous testicles. Rectum!

    I am a dead-end lout.

              Cunt Fart. Devilish piss lout.

    Screwball machismo of a sordid snob.

    News Memo Farts Pee, Dew.   

    Well-worn ass, vivid farts, nihilist’s irateness.

    Vagina Fart voyeurism. Cunt Farts!

    Hateful as an unending Farts contagion.

   

    

   

Strong-man F@rts

A Painting Fell Off the Wall. 

During Repairs, Refurbishment 

and Reframing, Turns Out It’s a 

Long-Lost Rembrandt - and It’s

Worth a Quarter of a Billion Dollars

   anagrams to 

   I'm rude. Bunghole inspires.

   Strong man Farts Innumerable, 

       sordid, ultra-diarrhea blow Farts.

   Tranquil loo, Farting. Fart.

      Well! And not pleasing to Fart filth!

Bird F@rTs

Indian-origin family’s fir tree 

cut in half following bitter feud 

with their ‘pettiest neighbors ever’

after deep negotiations on bird poop.

   anagrams to 

   I'm needier. I do Fart in lingerie.

   Boohooing peeved bitch Farts.

   Blow out Farts, foul pigeon shit! 

   Viperine twitterer Fart. 

   Fart Nihility.

I Heart F@rTs

FDA adds heart 

inflammation 

warning to Moderna, 

Pfizer vaccines

 anagrams to 

   I'm an advanced animal, Farting Farts.

   Nice demon-worship Fart, Zode! 

F@rT Film

“It’s Not Slowing Down”: 

As platforms bulk up on 

library Deals, Streaming 

Fuels Demand for Feature 

Film and TV Restoration

   anagrams to 

   

   Fart enigma:

   Unlovely or rotten Farts wisdom.

   Lump up an Ass Fart - OK, slob?

   Bloodier, neat Farts?

   Dull-minded Farting swine!

Ferret F@rTs

‘I’m terrified.’ Idaho students fear 

repercussions of Lieutenant Governor 

McGeachin’s indoctrination task force 

 - which is all white - and seeks to ferret 

out Critical Race Theory in public schools.

   anagrams to 

   Eh! I unremedied idiot. 

   Not cleverer Farts,

                  ingenuous poisoner.

   Shocking Farts Dominate. Nice narcotic!

   'Well! Is not Farts a cheekier death wish?' 

   Sociably chic Farts scorcher.

   Lout Lit Farts, Eruption!

Woke F@rTs

Nellis Air Force Base hosts a drag show, 

defends it as ‘essential’ for ‘readiness of 

the military’; Nevada base is where aviators 

fly fighter jets from the Advanced Air Combat 

training facility and a specialty Warfare Center.

   anagrams to 

   I'm an eerie odd Ass, Farts.

   Nicely bestialised loonie Ass Fart heroine. 

   Wealthy me Farts Ass Farts.

   Ass Farts overhead, Brainwave.

   Hog Farts drenched an objective.

          Sewage Farts homicide. 

   Ass Rancidity, genitalia Fart pliancy.

   Farts.

   

POTUS F@rTs

'Freaks me out': Late night ‘frightened’,

Internet mocks Biden for odd, whispering 

press conference: 'Delusional Outright bonkers!'

   anagrams to 

   Horrid Gnome Farts.

   High-octane Fuckers stunk.

   New Token Farted derisible despisement.

   Unheroic ignoble deplores not Farting. 

Safety F@rTs

Decrepit Bridges and Traffic Accidents 

Stoked Safety Fears after Infrastructure 

Financing Talks Flounder, Now, a Deal?

   anagrams to 

   Big picnic Farts, Farts decadence...

   Decide, you erudite Farts!

   Wooden Farts? 

            Nun-like Farts? 

                   All-dancing Farts? 

                                     Keen Farts?

   Farts !!!!!!!!!!!

   

F@rT Traffic

How Hampton Roads’ chronic traffic 

problems and sea level rise helped 

shape bipartisan infrastructure funding bill

   anagrams to 

   Phobic, moronic cow hands’ Farts hurt.

   Punchable, rumpless Farting plebeians!

   Viperish, lonelier and deadlier Farts. 

   Farts !!!

I Cast Thee F@rTs Out!!!

Group escorted out of Pennsylvania

Home Depot for having exorcism in a

lumber aisle; The call was for ‘disorderly 

people having an exorcism in the lumber 

aisle for the dead trees.’ No charges filed.

     anagrams to 

   Cheap voodooing expertise, 

          asshole brown-eye Farts poet.

   Ridicule elderly Farts, ill-omened ego. 

   I'm a huge Bronx cheer in 

        Vagina Fart vandalism. 

    Headier Farts, rude hellholes.

    Nincompoops Fart scum!

Dragon Man F@rTs

Massive fossilized human head,

found in a Chinese well, forces 

scientists to rethink evolution; 

Perfectly preserved ancient 

‘Dragon Man’ skull may be a 

new species, shaking up human 

family tree.

   anagrams to 

   I'm the Fart-Ass king!

   Piteously Unashamed Weirdo,

     (Chicken Semen Fart Pie)  

   Anus devilizes on Fart innocence.

   Depraved Lush. Sniveler. 

   Fucking Asshole!

   Nice bowel. Farts optimum 

   manly Ass ethylene.

   

McAf@rTs

John McAfee was once the 

face of cybersecurity software. 

Then his life spiraled. 

Now, after being found dead in a 

Spanish prison cell and a ‘Q’ 

Instagram post, the father of 

the Modern American Paranoia 

finds perfect synchronicity in his 

Life, Times, Legacy and Death.

    anagrams to 

   Heigh-ho! I am a potent Fart menacer!

   Headed to Idaho,

            Fiercely Farting my anal loyalties.

   Ahem! ...Eject Farts NOW, fish-face!

   Penis. Cunt. Boner! Wangs! Penis. Ass.

   Squalid Doom. Ninnyish, non-sphincter Farts.

   Ace Slob Farted Chirpy, Weird-Pinhead Fart Indecencies. 

                  Farts! ...Coffee?

F@Rt Science!!!

Physicists show that flying beer 

coasters will flip over four-tenths 

of a second into flight, with backspin, 

unlike a Frisbee, and fly vertically.

    anagrams to 

   Hello, Clown Fuckers!

   Stenchy Farts, Bishop. Hell!

                 Hedonistic Fucker!

    Howling, obstipant* Fart. 

  Lovely Vagina Farts! 

              Inedibility, if wise type.

   Farts!

 [*Obstipation is a severe form of constipation, where a person cannot poop or fart. Constipation is a condition where a person has infrequent bowel movements — usually three or fewer a week.]

Horseback F@rTs

One cow still at large,* one killed 

after forty head of cattle escape 

from a slaughterhouse and stampede 

through LA neighborhoods; Sheriff’s 

Deputies on horseback ride to the rescue 

    anagrams to 

   Dog-eared Bunghole,

        Utopian Hellhole. Farts!

   Indecorous, hot-headed Farts menace?

   Well... Asses! 

   Obedient Gooey Farts. 

   Heroic Rectal Farts. 

   Proud Poem-like Farts.

   Huckster Farts. 

[*UPDATE: The last on-the-lam Bovine has been rescued, and - as only in California - will be adopted by Grammy and Emmy Award winner and 12-time Oscar nominee Hall of Fame songwriter Diane Warren. “This isn’t my first cow... But this feels like a special cow. “Right now, I’m calling it good moos.” She reportedly named it. Her net worth is eleventy billion dollars.]

Fake High School F@rTs

A Former NRA President Was Tricked Into 

Speaking At A Fake High School Graduation

and starring in a gun-violence prevention video;

addressing his comments to thousands of empty 

chairs, set up to represent thousands of students 

killed by gun violence. Yes. There’s videotape of it. 

    anagrams to 

   Weird Assholes 

              and croakier Farts torment. 

   Ho Ho! Fart-Up genitalia, OK? 

   Deserving, rapid, 

                      inane Farts innovator.

   O My God! 

   Incompetent, odd 

                         Sphincter mushiness.

   Stupendous Penis and 

              stoutest Cunt Fart heroes -

   Evil bungling on cockeyed evil.

   Good! Heaviest Yankee Farts,       headiest pig.

    https://tinyurl.com/26dsfvww

F@rT Gun

Chiefs Star Defensive End Frank Clark 

Arrested In South LA Traffic Stop 

After Gun Found In Car

    anagrams to 

   Fine cheek and clever Farts.

   Hoodlike Farts, proud Farts, 

   Cunning Farts in Fart audiences.

F@rT Bandit

San Francisco DA charges suspected 

Walgreens Bandit in connection with a 

slew of shoplifting thefts. 

He hit one store five times.

      anagrams to 

   Incontinent eggheads spew Farts.

   Classic bee Shit wind WC.

   Oh No! Farting felon Anus splotch!

   I am the defective, noisiest Farts hero. 

Spider-Man F@rTs on the Pope

Spider-Man swings through the Vatican to meet Pope Francis, gifts Pontifex maximus - The Vicar of Christ with custom-made Spidey mask

   anagrams to 

   I Am A Fucker. Victimise, gnash.            Victimise, gnash.

   Mix smooth pig excrement. Farts Farts Farts.

   Oh Wow! Muddy up this topnotch adept Penis.