covfefe 19

Gee...

 I hate to say I told you so, but...

- Nah. That's a lie. I absolutely LOVE to say "I told you so,". I think it's better than sex.

See, folks just don't LISTEN.

Shame, too. Really. So I started a blog. A place to place my art and writing out there where anyone can get it. Got it? Good. It's no more complicated than that. Generative thinking. The LONG con. Post it once- and, as they say, and it's immortal. It will always be online.

Dave Barry is my favorite writer.

My mom discovered his humor when I was so young that I impressed people with my spelling. Young kid- not quite ten. Anyway, Dave Barry was a newly  syndicated humor columnist, fresh out of the Philly Inquirer.

 Mom loved his smart, irreverent wackiness. She wrote him letters to say so, and he used to write back. Nancy had a great sense of humor herself. Then Barry got big. Miami Herald. Book deals. A Pulitzer Prize. There was a TV show, loosely based on his humor. Big Time.

...And Dave Barry LOVED Fart jokes.

And Dave Barry loved anagrams. And he still does. And so do I. And here we are.

...Good story, right? Not done yet.

 My Mother also loved to travel. In a distant city, her wallet went missing. The hotel took care of her; like they did back then - gave her cash to get home. There was a time way back when, and she was humbled by their care. The humanity and grace -- and Damn Itkindness, which sheers of the gesture. It showed good upbringing. Ahh, the past.

Anyway. Back to Dave Barry. His book "Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys"
closes with a thought about farts. I won't spoil it. Check it out. He's the best.

Mom typed up a nice note thanking the hotel for their kindness - and left it on the typewriter... Google it, millennial.

And that's where I step in.

At the end of her courteous and grateful screed, I typed the words "P.S. Don't forget to fart." Happy Reading.

There's Fast, Slow, and F@Rt

Italians sing from their windows
 to boost morale

   anagrams to

 Eliminations Ring. Wow!

 Boomed, Lo!  Ass Rot

 Fart... Shit!

F@Rt Matter

Lady Gaga Wore Fecal Matter
to FaceTime French Fans

   anagrams to

 Faecal Gag, Old Shit Men !

  Ceca Yeomen - We Fart Fart Fart

https://www.papermag.com/lady-gaga-fecal-matter-2645471959.html

Bat Soup

The Great Writing on the Great Wall

https://flutrackers.com/forum/

The first reporter in the Western world to spot the coronavirus crisis was a blogger in Florida

   anagrams to

 Shit Whenever Pee  Tint

 Posterior Terror

 Shit Doc Growl Sow 

 Anal Biologic Riders 

    Fart Anus Farts

Although few Americans saw the reports and even fewer reacted with urgency, Sanders’s blog appears to have been the first Western source to note what would soon explode into a worldwide pandemic. 

School's Out For F@Rt

(The days of retiring to one's farm in Texas to paint dull art are long gone.)

   anagrams to

 (Goody Greetings!

  I Am An Adulterant Ox.

 One Shitter Fart Loon.

  A Penis Farts.)

Friday the 13th F@Rt

Don’t Panic’: Fear and Loathing Grip Congress as Coronavirus Spreads

   anagrams to

  Anal Poop. Stinging Riddance!

  Coroner Curving Pro Anal Poop

  Fart Ass Ass Heads.

5X Yo

THAI CITY OVERRUN BY HUNDREDS 

OF HUNGRY MONKEYS IN SEARCH

 OF FOOD AFTER CORONAVIRUS 

KEEPS TOURISTS AWAY

  ANAGRAMS TO

 YO, FARTS! YO, FARTS!

 YO REV, FART. YO, REV - I FART YO!

 DERRIERE BUNG WOO

 MUNCHKINS CHUNK 

 HIND ASS POO. ANUS DEUCE SHIT.

https://news.google.com/articles/CBMifGh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm5ld3N3ZWVrLmNvbS90aGFpLWNpdHktb3ZlcnJ1bi1odW5kcmVkcy1odW5ncnktbW9ua2V5cy1zZWFyY2gtZm9vZC1hZnRlci1jb3JvbmF2aXJ1cy1rZWVwcy10b3VyaXN0cy1hd2F5LTE0OTIwMzDSAYIBaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubmV3c3dlZWsuY29tL3RoYWktY2l0eS1vdmVycnVuLWh1bmRyZWRzLWh1bmdyeS1tb25rZXlzLXNlYXJjaC1mb29kLWFmdGVyLWNvcm9uYXZpcnVzLWtlZXBzLXRvdXJpc3RzLWF3YXktMTQ5MjAzMD9hbXA9MQ?hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US%3Aen

Did Ewe F@Rt?

A cow is on the loose and wanted by police in South Florida

   anagrams to

 Did Ewe Fart? No.

   Hooey. Bullshit!

 Colon Anecdota.

  I Won A Piss.

 .
The police department put out a tweet: “Wanted: Unknown Cow.”

Followed by this:

“Description: Female cow. Brown with a white head. Faster than it looks. Talented fence jumper. Enjoys pools.”

https://apnews.com/142886a56db6e1e3073649bcc9922feb

And The Infectious Pestilence Did Reign

And The Infectious Pestilence Did Reign

   anagrams to

 Shit Cunt Declined Iodine? Gee. Fart Penis

How the plague ravaged William Shakespeare’s world and inspired his work, from Romeo and Juliet to Macbeth.

https://slate.com/culture/2020/03/shakespeare-plague-influence-hot-hand-ben-cohen.amp

Hoot Giver.

San Gabriel Valley Gun Sales Soar Among Asian Americans Who Fear Coronavirus-Related Attacks

   anagrams to

  Anal Ass Anus Glibly Aerated

  A Lone Micromanager.

  Anal Ass. Fart Ass Work.

  Anus Crevice. Hoot Giver.

 

beaver-related F@Rt

Woman seeks Guinness record for collection of beaver-related items

   anagrams to

 Ass Cow Nun Semen Eel Rig

 Emit No Odor

 Evil Blokes Coerce

 Farted Farts

Fecal Transmission

CDC director Redfield breaks with Trump on claim that border wall will help stop coronavirus

   anagrams to

Wretched Rump Rip Rumps Fart

 Anticlockwise A-Hole

  Anal Crotch Vitriols

 Billowed 'Lord, Dr. Debt.'

Edsel?

The very name "Edsel" became a popular symbol for a commercial failure.

   anagrams to

   Enema Ass Poop

 Hooray !

Cum Cub Emceed Reveller

 Airily
 
  Flammable

   Fart

CDC director breaks with Trump on claim that border wall will help stop coronavirus


CDC director breaks with Trump on claim that border wall will help stop coronavirus

Fart Holiness!

Local Depraved Masochist Enjoys Following the News

   anagrams to

  Anal Cycle Moved Log. Joy!

  Shit Peed.

  Wow! Fart Holiness!

Well, in THIS Festival

In this festival The villagers are gives Bali of Male sheep.

   anagrams to

 Hi Glen. Shit A Evil Fart! Evil

 Ass Evil Fart. Hoagie Bleep Me.

 

Beef Queef

Not His First Epidemic, Dr. Anthony Fauci Sticks to the Facts

   anagrams to

 Penis Cock. Chic Tooted.

 I'd Shit A Funny Shit.

 Emit Farts. Farts.

Plywood

Inventor of Shreddies fart pants working on creating coronavirus mask

WHAT TIME DO CLOCKS GO FORWARD?

anagrams to

'Cow FARTS lick doomed wart hog.'

Cunt Sauces.

A malfunction causes red wine to flow from faucets in a rural Italian town

   anagrams to

 Cunt Sauces.

 I Commode, Wienie.

 Annul Oil Oil Nu Wow

 Anal Farts Fart Fart Fart

F@Rt Ass Rectum Poop.

Trump-Linked Contractor Recruits Ex-Spies to Help Infiltrate Liberal Groups

 anagrams to

 Rectal Cunt. Drink Pee. Roil Rot.

 Penis Be Guiltier Sex Thrill.

   Fart Ass Rectum Poop.

A Anal Rut? My You Reek.

Mary Kay Letourneau Is 

'Feeling Kind of Lost' 

After Split From Husband 

She Once Sexually Abused

   anagrams to

 Asininely Fart

 Grandiosely Fart

 Bemusedly Fart.

 Ass Belched Funnies! Oomph.

  Us Ululate. Ex Kook.

Green plastic Army women F@Rt

Green plastic Army women are almost ready for duty, toymaker says

   anagrams to

 Fart Ringlet - Ass Cape!

  A Metronome.

 Doomsayer: Yak, Warmly Dye Yurts.

https://news.google.com/articles/CBMiYWh0dHBzOi8va2x1di5yYWRpby5jb20vYmxvZ3MvbWlsZXMtaW4tdGhlLW1vcm5pbmcvbWlzdGVyLXJvZ2Vycy11c2VkLXRvLWZhcnQtaW4tZnJvbnQtb2YtaGlzLXdpZmXSAQA?hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US%3Aen


https://news.google.com/articles/CBMifmh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm1lZGlhaXRlLmNvbS93ZWlyZC9kaWQtYS1ob3QtbWljLXBpY2stdXAtYS1sb3VkLWZhcnQtb24tdGhlLWZpdmUtanVzdC1hcy1pdC1jdXQtYXdheS1mcm9tLXdoLWNvcm9uYXZpcnVzLWJyaWVmaW5nL9IBAA?hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US%3Aen




 


 

Wow. Just -wow- I'm high.

Struggling airline Flybe

 'set to collapse within hours'

   anagrams to

 Giggly  Tunnellers Ibices

 Ass Toot Hellion Whir Up Fart.

threads of identity

make time and space for dialogue and for finding, amongst our many threads of identity, our common social fabric

   anagrams to

 I Am A Pocked Semen

 Anal Finger. Dido Of Dung.

 Undershorts Anatomy Mag.

 Melodic Farty Bunco, 

 Ionic, I Moo. I Farts.

The Fuck?

Can't Find Purell or 

Other Hand Sanitizers? 

Here's How To Make It At Home

 With Vodka

   anagrams to

  Shit Phone. Crueller Drone.

  Shit! Darn Zanies.

  Hot Toot. Hot Fart.

  Mime Wave Khaki Wad.

   

Emeril Le Gassy

Trump coronavirus effort undermined by mixed messages and falsehoods

   anagrams to

  Demigoddess,

 Odoriferous Ass,

 Lemonade Urine Pungency.

 Ms. Fart. Ms. Fart. Shh. Bods Vex!

Underpants ‘banana’ gadget lets passengers fart on flights and filters out the smell

https://cw39.com/newsfix/science-explains-why-people-like-the-smell-of-their-own-farts/amp/

Wind BERN

Democratic Contest Narrows Focus to Biden and Sanders

   anagrams to

 Odd Ass Tic...    

Fart Windburn, Or Coo To Me.

    Ass Transcendence.

No Farting Sign

Female kangaroos and wallabies are known to use both of their uteruses, but the swamp wallaby uses both at the same time.

   anagrams to

Yokel Heehaw Emitted Bum Hum.

Bowel Noisemaker.

 Anal-Ass Butt Fart

 Ass-Butt-Anal-Butt-Ass-Fart

 Poo Odor Ass Whine.
 
  Pee. Whee!

F@Rt by Numbers

The Official Coronavirus Numbers Are Wrong, and Everyone Knows It

   anagrams to

  Vile, Sour Moonshine! Cubic Fart.

  Derriere Fart Novenas, Wonky Wagon.

"Sometimes, quantification actually
obscures as much as it reveals."

   anagrams to

  Elect Eleven Ass Mimics.

  Anus Tonality.

  Roguish Abaci. Ass Quoit. 

  Fart Cum.

Corkscrewed Genealogists

Video shows Los Angeles district attorney’s husband pointing gun at Black Lives Matter activists: ‘Get off my porch!’

   anagrams to

   Corkscrewed Genealogists

   Lend Cubic Dong, So I Emit Hog Fart.

   Oops! Anus Penis Mania Balls.

   Shitty TV Shitty TV Fart TV.

Stop Touching Your Face!

The phrase 

"Stop touching your face."

anagrams to

'Choice, young fart spout.'

...and also to

Yes. I Fart Goo, Cunt Pouch!

Nice Fart Gust, You Pooch.

 Chug Penis, You Fart Coot!
Poo Fart Shit. Cue Coy Gnu!

I Go "Yup. Choose Cunt Fart."

"Nice Fart." (Ouch! Got Soupy).

I Fart Goopy Couch Tunes.
Poet Sung 'Icy Fart Coo Uh!'
 Choicer, Gutty Anus Poof.
Out-Fart Occupying Hoes

Fart Gooey, Chic Nut Soup!

...and if you change 'face' to 'faces'

'I of Rough-cut Ass Potency...'

https://news.google.com/search?q=Stop%20Touching%20Your%20Face&hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US%3Aen

Yes. That's a dozen, anyway.

Diagram. A F@Rt Anagram

"...Washington state health officials didn’t test until the past few days the man who died and the two other cases announced Saturday."


A Fast Walker Gets Stuck in the Slow Lane

  anagrams to

 A Skull Farts, A Wet Ass Cheek? Tingle Town!

Googly Gods!

War of words as Nigerian English recognised by the Oxford English Dictionary

   anagrams to

 Hi Nerdy! Anal Windiness!

 I Croon Fart

 Sing Fart Whore

 Sex Herbicide? Googly Gods!

Oops Xi

When the Burmese messages were equated right into English on Facebook,Mr Xi’s name repetitively looked like “Mr. Shithole“.

   anagrams to

   Huge Ass Be Sweet !

  Shit. A Hotter New Quim

 Hole Beckoning.  Fart!

 Orgasm Remixed Semen.

 Vermillion-Keeled

  Yeti Shithole Poker.

https://theunionjournal.com/facebook-apologizes-for-vulgar-translation-of-chinese-leaders-name/