"The whole situation is tragic":

 

"The whole situation is tragic": 

About a million bees died when 

left on a hot UPS truck for weeks

   anagrams to 

"Initiate slouchiest wart hog Farts.": 

I'm a bonehead! Nudities bellow.

Whoopee! Rotten sulk Fuck.

Wacky F@rTs

 

 Police hunt for man who had rocket launcher

 and threatened Belgium's top virologist

   anagrams to 

   Huh! Nude Bum and Vagina Farts.

   Cheekiest or potent goodwill!

                    Chloramphenicol rotter.

Pasty gorilla F@rts

 

  Mysterious fast radio bursts traced to spiral galaxy arms

   anagrams to 

  Absurdum destroys atrocities. Marx as pasty gorilla Farts.

    ...And yet we have very little idea where anuses come from...

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2021/05/evolution-butts/618915/

Interplanetary F@rTs

 

Scientists Shot Tardigrades from a Gun to 

See If Interplanetary Travel Is Survivable

        anagrams to 

   Farts Goddamnit! Touchiest Anus goriness.

   Velvety Farts. Irritable Anal perversities.

Gorilla booby F@rTs

 

WNYC Fires 'On The Media' Co-Host Bob Garfield For Alleged Bullying

   anagrams to 

   Mellow deed, unhygienic chilling Farts...

   Farts fondling bug-eyed gorilla Booby.

Cicada Sex F@rts

 

A Fungus Is Pushing Cicada Sex Into Hyperdrive 

And Leaving Them Dismembered

   anagrams to 

   Ugh! Hyped up cervix in Anus Farts Anus idiocies.

   I'm the brave, dead-end lemmings.

https://www.npr.org/2021/05/18/997998920/the-fungus-thats-making-cicadas-sex-crazy

Yep. F@rTs

 

Caitlyn Jenner Gets Dragged Through The Mud 

For Complaining Her Private Plane Hangar-Mate 

is Fleeing California to Avoid Seeing Homeless People 

   anagrams to 

     Farting Anus Jet gently drench right egghead Asshole.

       Over prancing Farts helping apeman Clitoris.

    I are loonie. I am Evil one. Mud Fart ego me peephole.