Fishy f@rts

 Taiwan urges citizens not to change their name to 'salmon' to get free sushi

   anagrams to 

  'Is not wheezing, ecstatic, neat orangutan.'

   'I am the righteous, lonesome Farts,’

 Scientists have taken the first ever picture of a glow-in-the-dark shark

   anagrams to 

  Cheekiest virtue converts 

   Harlot skinhead gawk.

   Fart. Farts. Shit. Penis.

X

 Father-to-be killed when gender reveal device explodes

   anagrams to 

 'Farts whine odder, hell-bent geek.' 

 A Exiled Creep Evolved.

 

 

Two dead after undercover cops shoot 

at each other in Philippines drug bust

   anagrams to 

   Devour scorched potatoes,

   

   Shit the Crap pipeline, Hon,

   Now I Busted A  Drug Fart.

 

Arizona man ‘fakes own kidnapping’ to get out of work

   anagrams to 

  Known geek dozing on Fart Poop wit.

       OK... I am a Fart Anus,

 Canadian butter has gotten weirdly hard,

 won't soften at room temperature, 

  and nobody is sure why.

   anagrams to 

   Now unremote Fart poet to master:

  'Now shattered - eradicably taunting!' 

   'Abhor sunny, dowdyish dear.'

 Man cut out and cooked neighbor’s heart 

‘to feed his family and release demons’

   anagrams to 

  Unodored bucktooth as menacing Farts.

 Eh! A hymeneal, one-sided Fart melodies.